dawnbreakingblogdotcom

Turning depression around

Swings and Roundabouts

on 06/10/2013

Sinking from unreasonable highs to inexplicable lows with no associated trigger takes a toll that is both mental and physical.  From one moment to the next, we can be riding on the crest of an arc then plummeting back to earth with no control, while the world spins faster and faster around us.  Like the grand old duke of York’s men, we can be definitely up, definitely down, or stuck in limbo somewhere in between.  The numbness of that no-man’s-land is all too familiar.

When we’re lucky enough to find ourselves, even just for a moment, smiling or laughing, we also feel guilty for the respite.  We also bring ourselves back down with a bump, whether our mood would have done so of its own accord or not.  With or without a professional diagnosis, with depression we’re expected to be lost in an interminable down.  Anything else would suggest that we’re faking.  Pleasure is forbidden, but also what we’re aiming for as an indication of recovery.  Lose-lose.

We need to embrace the highs when they come, and cling on to them for as long as we can.  We might not know when our swing will head skywards again, but we know for sure that what goes up must come down, and the world carries on turning regardless.  Vertigo and dizziness combine to leave us feeling sick, so we need to make the most of the moments when we do feel relatively normal.  The tighter our grip on the high, the further away the next low may well be.

 

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